Clinging to Hope in a Hopeless World: A Mother's Plea for Gun Reform
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Photo by Heather Mount
It feels so absurd to carry on with business as usual while children are ripped apart by bullets. While old white men claim dominion over women’s bodies. While bigots bicker over library books war wages in Ukraine and people starve in Afghanistan.
I’ve received so much positive feedback since I launched Inspirada last month and I’m so grateful to my first few clients who have trusted me to tell their stories. But I’m struggling to stay focused in the wake of so much preventable violence and heartbreak. I’ve had to keep the details at arm’s length because the grief is just too heavy to hold right now.
But I will not look away.
Because I’m a mother now. And like all things in motherhood, I have no choice but to carry on. As mothers, we do not have the luxury of hopelessness - we have children to raise.
So this week I met with Senator Marlon Kimpson in an attempt to better understand the fight for responsible gun control in the state of South Carolina.
I’ve never liked politics. I mistrust both parties and the system in general. But until our kids find a way to dismantle our corrupt political system entirely, I see no other option but to work with what we’ve got.
Kimpson seemed like a good man. He was genuine and honest and didn’t sugar-coat anything. The situation in this state (and country) is bleak and I left the meeting feeling more discouraged than I did going into it.
Kimpson explained the archaic amendment process in SC, and why the extinction of moderate republicans means we’re unlikely to pass any gun reform in this state in the near future. In the last election, Democrats lost two seats in the SC legislature, leaving the offices of the governor, secretary of state, attorney general, and both state legislative chambers in Republican control. Last year, they approved an open carry law and the NRA is fighting to pass constitutional carry in 2022 (which requires no licensing at all) “in order to improve self-defense in South Carolina, for the benefit of law-abiding citizens, and to recognize that this right is inherent.”
In spite of Emanuel, Uvalde, Buffalo, and a Memorial Day mass shooting in downtown Charleston, there are still zero local gun reform bills on the table in SC because the Republicans refused a judiciary hearing vote on even basic background checks. On Wednesday of this week, 202 Republicans (including SC’s Nancy Mace) voted against The Protecting Our Kids Act. It still passed but when you vote in November, I hope you’ll remember that 98% of House Republicans voted against legislation to protect kids from gun violence.
Photo by Tim Mudd
The bile of rage is rising in my throat as I type this. Because one year from now, I’ll be sending my daughter to public kindergarten and I will have to smile and lie and tell her she’s safe. And every morning when she leaves I will pray that she comes home, even though I know it won’t protect her from bullets. Or from the greed and self-interest that runs this country.
But Motherhood doesn’t allow for hopelessness. So these are the takeaways I’m clinging to; the tiny shreds of hope that remind me that there are more good people than bad; that if we act collectively, we can change things:
Millennials. We’re the largest living generation and the dominant workforce. Combine our numbers with the open-minded GenZ’s and we can run this shit. But we have to show up and vote. And we have to vote Democrat. I want to believe in the Green party as much as the next flower child, but at this point, we can’t afford to split the vote, especially in states like South Carolina.
New Parents. Like myself, many millennials (and Gen X’ers) now have young kids and recent events have forced us to join the many parents who have been fighting the gun lobbies since Columbine. When Sandy Hook happened I was obviously horrified; I signed petitions and posted on social… but that’s about it. Now that I have a child of my own, I feel it’s my duty to do more. Shame on me for not acting sooner, but until you have kids you simply can’t fathom what it would be like.
Cycle Breakers. A cycle breaker is someone who recognizes harmful or dysfunctional traits that exist in the culture of their family and decides to discard these traits and trade them in for something different. Perhaps you’re choosing to parent differently, communicate better, or show yourself more compassion. Perhaps you’re ready to break from your family’s political allegiances. If you were raised by Republicans, if you know and love someone who is voting Republican I beg you to sit down with them and ask them to give you three good reasons why they’re voting that way. (And no, taxes are not good enough reason when children’s lives, women’s bodies, and the planet are at stake).
Love. We’re not as divided as they want us to think. I believe that most people are good. I believe that no matter where you’re from, most people want the same things; peace, understanding, and for our loved ones to be safe and healthy. Our elected officials WORK FOR US- and in spite of Kimpson’s skepticism, I will maintain a small flicker of hope that these people will set aside their agendas and make the right choice.
Old Age. If nothing else, I find comfort knowing that all those greedy, spineless old white men (and everyone who votes for them) will be dead soon enough. Well, not quite soon enough, but their days are numbered nonetheless. The young folks are taking over, and when we do I’m hopeful that we’ll do it differently.
So what’s next? If you feel yourself slipping into that all-too-familiar state of American mass shooting numbness, here 6 actions you can take RIGHT NOW that will help you feel like your voice matters.
Find out who your local state representative is and go have a meeting with them. They likely won’t answer or return your phone call so you must show up in person. The five most important words you can say to your rep: “I LIVE IN YOUR DISTRICT.” I’ll be visiting my representative, Chip Campsen’s office next week to let him know how I want him to vote.
Organize a group to travel to the State House in Columbia when they’re in session to have a meeting with Senators Lindsey Graham and Tim Scott. This is the kind of thing that moves the needle. It doesn’t help to protest in Marion Square, we need to be in their offices, holding meetings. Remember, these people WORK FOR US.
I’m headed to the library to check out “The One’s We’ve Been Waiting For” by Charlotte Alter- a book about the Millennial politicians trying to build a new America. I want to understand who this next cohort of politicians are and whether or not I can trust them.
VOTE IN THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS: “Control of Congress hangs in the balance as the Democratic Party is trying to protect its razor-thin majority in the Senate, where VP Kamala Harris holds the tie-breaking vote.” Here are two resources to help you prepare for the SC primaries on JUNE 14: State & Federal, Local Charleston.
We need to figure out how to get a PR campaign to help the poor, uneducated white voters in our state realize that they’re not being served by these Republicans. Democrats get caught up in the details and don’t know how to communicate effectively.
Join and donate to your local chapter for Moms Demand Action and Everytown for Gun Safety. But understand that protesting won’t be enough, we have to show up at our representatives' offices.
